You are hereNew From Apple: The iPhone paper weight!

New From Apple: The iPhone paper weight!


By MauriceRevek - Posted on 24 June 2010

The Register is reporting that the new iPhone 4 might have a few problems if you try holding the phone in your hand while you make a call. It seems that holding the phone in yoru hand may block the signals from being received by the phone. It goes on to say that this might explain why Mr. Jobs was not able to received anything on his new device (careful Coxxorz, Shiny thing) yet able to received on his iPhone 3 may have been related to this issue.

One has to wonder, how were they doing quality control, and what kind of test scenariosdid they come up with in order to pass QA.

Hmmm...

Lets connect a hands free bluetooth head piece and see if it works. Check.

Lets put it on speaker phone mode on the desk. Check.

Lets connect it to the laptop in tethered mode. Check.

Do you think we should test it while holding it in our hands and making a call? Nah, its a phone, it's supposed to work that way. We don't need to test that.

I wonder what is going to happen to those 600,000 people that ordered the phone and will not be able to make any calls.

Wait a minute:

New from Apple, it's the Bluetooth iPhone 4 phone call making auditory-microphony (nice word of play, or play on word) head attachment device. Now you will be able to make phone calls to anybody on your contact list just by speaking into the microphony, while listening on the magnetronic auditory diaphragmatic ear piece. Yes! For the low price $199.99, or 10 easy payments of $25.95, you can own the official Apple iAudmicrony! Dazzle your friends, speak with your loved ones! Call now! Our operators are waiting.

But Wait! If you call now, in the next 20 minutes, because you know we can't do this all day (I never understood that line from the Slap Chop guy. This is a commercial that is playing somewhere in North America every 20 seconds, all day long so the next 20 minute thing does not mean anything!) we also include the handy charging cable for the iAudmicrony.

Should we go tell Q-Bert, who is probably still standing in line, that he may not be able to make reliable calls, or may have to take up yoga to find a way to hold the phone so that no signal loss occurs, before he drops his hard earned cash from working in Vanier on this delightfull device?

MauriceRevek's picture

It seems that Apple has addressed the issue with loss of reception. Issuing a statement that would make Microsoft proud, the put the blame squarely on the user for holding the phone wrong.

Holding the phone wrong.

One more time.

Holding the phone wrong.

There are two basic ways that one can hold the phone: with the right hand, and with the left hand. Now they are saying that you should not hold the phone with the left hand. I wonder if we will see a spike of right side brain cancer 10 - 15 years from now?

Q-Bert's picture

This is the official way Apple told us to use the iPhone4:
Problem solved!Problem solved!

Coxxorz's picture


I guess even Steve Jobs doesn't know how to use an iPhone.

MauriceRevek's picture

The problems Mr. Jobs experienced during his presentation. If only he knew then, then perhaps he would not have had to ask the crowd to stop bogging all of the bandwidth.

New from Apple: the right handed iPhone. Because left hanDed people are evil! No phone for them!

Coxxorz's picture

It's an evil plan to annoy the hell out of left-handed Adobe employees.

Also, it was the Wi-Fi bandwidth that was being hogged by the hundreds of keynote attendees insta-blogging every word Steve was saying. I guess they really shoulda set up a separate network for the presenters.

Swag's picture

you don't get signal loss, because nobody has a cell phone so the reception is great.

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