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Die Stormblade

By Blackwalt - Posted on 05 June 2008

Nothing suspicious at all

    Stormblade (while playing GRAW 2 with Coxxorz and Blackwalt): Something about my death seems suspicious. I didn't see any enemy around me at all. It was like that grenade had "Die Stormblade" written on it.

Coxxorz: Wasn't me. I don't even have grenades up.

Blackwalt: I was no where near you. Although all my grenades do have "Die Stormblade" written on them. No idea how that happened. Coincidence.

Now there was no possible reason why Stormblade could possibly think we would have had anything to do with his Grenade-tastic death. None at all. Although I do have a humorous grenade related story to pass on. It happened last night while the three of use were playing GRAW 2. You know, Wednesday night? The official HOC Sega Night? Perhaps you may have heard of it?

Anyway, it went something like this.

I came in late cause I was pouring a drink. Coxxorz and Stormblade were under siege by dozens of enemies and calling for help. Their calling for help sounded suspiciously like screaming little girls praying at full volume.

So being the helpful sort I switched to my grenade launcher and started firing it past them into the enemy (Yes I know you can see where this is going).

    Blackwalt: Incoming! As I fire over them into a crowd.

    Coxxorz and Stormblade: Oh crap!

What? I missed them.

Hey, that flew quite close to them. I bet if I line it up right I can scream one right past their heads and they will hear it flying by to blow up in front of them.

    Blackwalt: This may sound close. Blackwalt lines up the grenade launcher to fire past their heads into the crowd of enemy and pulls the trigger...

Coxxorz chooses this exact moment to step to his right.

Ooops. Bullseye! Well, technically.

Long pause as Coxxorz and Stormblade's bodies pinwheel through the air.

    Stormblade (with sacrcasm although I can't understand why): That was close.

    Blackwalt: Ok, you know what? That was so totally Coxxorz's fault!

Edited to suit someone else's memories of the conversation.

MauriceRevek's picture

When shooting close to friendlies. Always shout:

[Teammates name]: Don't move!

Then shoot. You still have the option to shoot over or away from your teammate, or aim for a headshot of said teammate. But getting them to stand still while you patiently aim for their head is always much more satisfying.

Stormblade's picture

You're never online to shoot anyone. And when you are online, it's to play Lego Star Wars, Guitar Hero or Dance Dance Revolution (ok, I admit I have never actually seen you playing it, but it wouldn't surprise me).

You might just want to join us sometime for the, you know, Officially sanctioned HoC Sega Night, which happens to fall on every freaking Wednesday as agreed upon by the whole freaking clan.

Just sayin'.

Noir's picture

I don't own an Xbox. Why is it Sega sponsered again?

Coxxorz's picture

Because it all started with a couple of wide-eyed kids who bought Genesis consoles, and never looked back (or grew up).

Stormblade's picture

it was called 'Q-Bert, get your 40 pound brick of a 486 over here so you can install video drivers all night long while we play Doom' Night.

Sega night is shorter.

Noir's picture

I do play Warcraft 3 DoTA most everynight from 8-11pm PT. Warcraft 3 being, of course, the single greatest game ever created. I have been playing it solid since it the first day it came out. Which was ... 6 years ago. GG.

Coxxorz's picture

So how much has this game cost you over the 6 years?

Noir's picture

I payed $70 for Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos the day it came out. I then played $45 for Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne expansion, pretty much when it first came out too. And ... thats it. ~$130 (w/ tax) for 6 years of glory. Which is roughly $22/year. Let me guestimate (figuring in gaps of none play time) that I play rougly 5 hours a week, thats 52 * 5 = 260 hours/year * 6 = ~1560 hours total game time... Ergo, $130/1560 = .08$/hr.

A whoping 8 cents an hour. That is the cheapest entertainment ever right there.

Coxxorz's picture

Good thing WoW sucks.

Stormblade's picture

Warcraft II was the greatest game ever created and Warcraft 3 was a pale imitation. If you want to debate that, bring it up with Guba the Impaler ...

... if you dare.

Guba's picture

Need I say more?

Noir's picture

Warcraft 2 was my second most favorite game ever before Warcraft 3 came out, most favorite being Starcraft, clearly. Now that Warcraft 3 came out though, it's drop to third.

Warcraft 2 was awesome all around. The biggest difference, that puts Warcraft 3 in a different league altogether, is the fact it paved a totally new road for the RTS genre. WC 2 was like most other RTSs at the time. Albeit, better graphics, better story, and superbly balanced game place. WC3 shares these exactly game qualities against the newest RTSs but has brought in so much more. Which is why no other RTSs since can compare. Supreme Commander tried, but unfortunately failed hard.

I won't bother putting up details as to why, because I am very curious as to see what points you can possible bring up that makes WC2 better then WC3 frankly.

PS. To make Blackwater happy, and if you have the testicular fortitude to go 1-v-1 against my superior mental accument, you might want to create a new blog entry.

Stormblade's picture

First of all, I have found throughout my life that those who feel the need to mention their superior mental accument (although I think you meant accumen), don't have one.

Secondly, there really is no debate here. But since us simpletons need to explain ourselves occasionally, I will list out a few simple criteria for how I would judge the games against each other and score them.

a) Have I ever lost an entire weekend playing the game, barely sparing time to eat, drink, sleep or answer nature's call? WCII - Yes. WCIII - No

b) Has the game led to the complete disintegration of a pot roast or caused the creation of the chocolate chip cookie coaster? WCII - Yes. WCIII - No

c) Has the game had such a profound effect on society as to add expressions to our common language (i.e. Zug Zug and Job Done)? WCII - Yes. WCIII - No

All kidding aside, I think even Blizzard would agree that WCII's impact on the gaming world in general and the RTS world in particular was on the same level as Doom's was on the FPS world. It was new, innovative and extremely addictive.

WCIII is a good game. Blizzard has never made a bad one, but it's a bit of more of the same. I still play it occasionally, since it works on my Mac, but it doesn't have the pull WCII had. It's kind of like R6V2. Prettier, but less fun.

But then, those of us with inferior intellects may not grasp the subtleties that would enlighten us to see the elements that make WCIII such a superior game.

But at least we can spell.

Guba's picture

I thought you liked them... or were you just afraid of the Guba and ate them anyway?

Stormblade's picture

No habla Engles ...

Akuf's picture

...except I went to fix the axle on my car.

Then one of my special friends called to give me an oil change.


Less than one month after it's release Far Cry® New Dawn is available for 50% off ($24.99) through Microsoft. Until Sunday March 24th.


Please stop talking.


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