You are hereBlogs / Akuf's blog / All things happen in 3s
All things happen in 3s
Actually 4s because when I started type this entry (in my currently inebriated state) I kicked the bloody power bar and shut my PC.....FRAK!!!!
Now back to me regularly scheduled progtamming...nowt because of currently inebriated state I will take not responsibility for any possible Reveks tha my or may not ocvcur.
The original psot was pusuped to be allthings happen in 3ss so here is the last 6 fays of my frakkin wife
Just as a dise note I am on the phone Revek and I am luahing at myself because I am realixzing the defacto inebriated keyboard typing.
So bnajkc ot the thing comes in 3s.....
#1 So as all of you know I have recently RROD'd on Eastre wekend
#2 I get a phone call this monarning from the alrm company infoming me that the back battery blew up.
#3 now here is thwe icing on the cake I went toi drop off dry cleaning and I managed to prop my car up on a parking bliock. I did take photoes of the event unforunatley I can nit find the stupid USb cable for my phoen but I am sure I will erentuly and whn i do I will post tgh pics....
Man i feelk extenely supidt.....
anyway have t good night
-
- Akuf's blog
- Login to post comments
- 2804 reads
For me just to off myself.
Well Saturday as you all know was the Ottawa Gala. So, all day I have been doing my usual Saturday errands/chores. Which ends with a workout and all is usually done about noon. Everything happened rather smoothly. But then I decide you know I think I am going to have a steak (ie comfort food) after having the rough week that I did.
I start the BBQ off with no problems (phew!). It came time to spice up the steak and I open the wrong side and I spill quite a bit of the Montreal Steak Spice all over the grill causing it to catch on fire and almost scorching my facial hair off. Of course my steak now is a little charred but hey still good.
So I thought ok, time to relax watch some hockey and play some xbox. (oh, wait that's right I don't one at the moment). At about 3pm I decide..hmm...maybe I should go to Blackwalt's then my senses came back to me. The rest of the afternoon went rather smoothly (thankfully).
On to the Gala. The group I went with noticed that I wasn't in the best of moods. And my good friend [marketing girl] was concerned and asked me what was wrong. I told her about the week I was having and I wasn't in a very partying mood. Unfortunately, my better judgment went out the window and I got a little too tipsy to the point I could barely stand. So all the girls I gamed that night stayed behind I told my buddy I have to go. Walking back to the car I fell a couple of times (his car, I did not drive that night).
Sunday is when reality slapped me in the face. I didn't go to the gym, I didn't do anything productive at all (because hangovers suck) so, I reflected, contemplated, thought about where the heck I am going. Feeling sorry for myself I came to the realization and I have to change something. The problem is what, when and how. I already know the what, the when and how are the problems.
And as some of you know I have written articles for Men's Health, T-Nation and a few other online training sites. There is one article I have been working on since late February that I have revised several times over because this may be my claim to fame. The reason for so many revisions is: instead of writing about nutrition and routines etc. this article is about mental state while training and not training. I may even post it here. But it is rather long (about 27 pages). Which is another reason why I haven't submitted yet. This past week is a good example of how the mentally having 'the victim' attitude really put a damper on me and the people around me.
*shudder*
But there's very much a cause-and-effect theme going on here. And now that you've realized it, you can use your experience from the past week to write that last chapter and break the cycle!*
*Do not literally break your bicycle.
The place where the biggest disasters could have happened, the Gala, nothing of note really happened that was not self inflicted throught the consumption of too much alcohol (trouble standing up).
So, if we analyze this, for you to be tippsy, and have trouble standing up, and having seen you drink before, you had to have consumed a fairly large amount of alcohol to reach that state.
Having consumed such a large amount, and having your capacities correspondignly reduced, would make you more vulnerable to bad things, such as falling down 3 flights of stairs, happen.
Now you did state that you fell a couple of times, but that is not due to bad luck, but from being inhibriated, and falling a couple of times in that state is normal. No bad luck involded there. And again, the potential for injury and disaster was greatly magnified during that period as well.
So, having placed yourself in a situation where bad karma could have really fraked you up, and nothing happened, combine that with the fact that nothing out of the ordinary happened on Sunday, other than nursing a hang over, I think we can say that the bad luck string may be behind you.
Now, to totaly dismiss any sprites or imps that may be laying in hiding just waiting to get to you, you must now stand up after reading this, and start singing:
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!
I thought you liked Aku, or is this a HOC way of teasing someone that I have not yet picked up on? I haven't been playing with you guys much for the last couple of months, but have thing changed this much so fast?
A friend of mine since we worked together on a project 8 or 9 years ago. And yes I am teasing him. This is nothing compared to the teasing that he has been doing to me for the last few years. I try to get my shots in when I can.
But only because you tend to open yourself up for the teasing.
Changed my name
Axi Danté
I'm impressed.
Or the english version: Axel Dent.
We have a new poll. What should aku's name be.
The old one is stinking up the place.
I was emptying my dishwasher.
I was putting my indoor grill away when the temperature control hits the bottom of my cupboards flies of and hits me on the eye....
#$#$#@Q@##!
I just got my CPR/First Aid certification this week. I think you would be perfect practice. As they say once you learn something you have to use it, or you will forget it.
How long did that take? Expensive?
It was a one day course at work, so it was free. CPR, Defibulater, Chocking, Burns it was good. I sort of knew most of it but it was good to have a professional tell ya/ show you how to do it.
After hearing the latest Aku escapade escapade this evening, I invite him over at my place for burgers and hockey. While relaxing with his wine, and watching Fleury make some incredible saves, he remembers that he did not post number 9.
Aku: Oh, I gotta post number nine.
Mo: Just use my laptop.
Aku: [Enters post number 9.]
Aku: You know, 9 is a multiple of 3, maybe it is over now.
Mo: Could be. 3 times 3 is nine.
Aku: I gotta post this.
[bang]
Aku: OUCH!! I just slammed my shin in the coffee table!!
Mo: ROFLMAO
10
10 is a nice even number, maybe that's the end now. Or maybe 30.
Several other things that have happened to me in the past:
1) Splitting chin from the top of my lip from the top to the bottom of my chin thinking I was superman (I was 5).
2) I left half my left hamstring on a go cart track
3) leaving a good chunk of my right arm on a barb wire fence while in training
4) Broke my leg unlocking my door
5) Got the back door of UPS truck slammed into my face and knocked me out.
6) Got hit in the back of the head with a remote control plane
7) Getting knocked out be an OC Transpo mirror on the sidewalk
8) Got hit buy car slipped into a coma for 2 days
9) Tore my left ACL (ligament in the knee for those who don't know) trying to prevent myself from dancing with a fat chick.
10) dislocated my shoulder while rock climbing
11) nailed my foot to my roof
12) fell off my chair at work numerous times with one actually causing a concussion.
13) several cases of road rash while biking
14) had my nose broken by some idiot who punched me but wind up breaking his wrist and forearm.
15) got wacked in the back of the head several times with various bar objects.
16) while playing ultimate got the disc squarely in the nuts at about 80 km/hour
17) while playing ultimate got kicked in the nuts...but that time I was wearing a cup unfortunately buddies foot got the one spot that wasn't covered.
18) Split my head open Running into Glass doors Remember that Revek
Taken from: http://www.herdofcats.ca/?q=node/1353#comment-2859
Did you break your leg while unlocking your door? Did you try to kick it in or fall while fumbling with the keys?
I posted the short version
This time what hell may as well post the long version.
Middle of winter
Lots of slipperyness
I open my door and slip on the frame and the bottom half of my leg broke.
So here I am middle of winter the alarm goes off. I can't get up the alarm company calls and I tell them that 'I have fallen and I can't get up' he was like what? I explained to him what happened and I told him it is ok to laugh please call an ambulance for me. Cops show up, parameds shows up, cop looks down at me with a smirk and asked if I had been drinking I said uh....no..look please just help me up I will a breathalizer whatever the hell you want me to do.
So I goto the hospital at this point my leg is the size of 1000 year old oak tree. Go through all the usual crap 4 hours later doctor says there is nothing wrong. I look at my leg and look at him "uh..are you sure?"...yes, it is just swollen keep it elevated and keep your work load light (at the time I was working @ UPS). He gave me crutches (which cost $60) and sent me on my way.
So, I am thinking ok no problem it should go away in a few days. I go to work let them well given my condition I probably shouldn't do anything heavy. They were like ok one guy looks at my leg and says "Are you sure that is ok?" Well doctor said it was.
Do five days go by...I repeat FIVE DAYS GO BY. I get a phone call.
them: Hi, Mr. Aku?
me. Yes.
Them: Hi it Dr. Imanidiot from Riverside hospital, how are you this evening.
Me: I am fine except for tree trunk of a leg
Them: Yes about that sir this is why I am calling. In reviewing your xrays there are actually two hairline fractures in your leg
Me: WHAT?
them: Sir please I am sorry please come back tomorrow so we can cast your leg.
Me: Uh you do realize I was there last Saturday right? Which was uh 5 DAYS AGO?
Them: yes sir, I apologize for the inconvenience.
Me: uh....inconvenience? Ok I tell you what I will show up there tomorrow with 'the family' I better not have to wait in line....capiche?
them: Uh...sir.. [I interrupt]
Me: No, I will show up I will say name. And you will take care of me.
So I show up with my father, brothers and couple of my body building buddies.
I had to wait about half an hour. But everything was done.
So here is 8.
Wannabe Mac Girl(WMG) calls me up this morning:
Her: hey let's hang out for lunch.
Me: cool head to the market?
Her: Great Idea nice day out should be fun
Me: Meet me at the corner of Metcalfe and Slater @ 11:30.
So we meet and we are walking towards Elgin when I just happen to turn around and see one of the new double decker buses and I suggested let's take a ride in that. She agreed. so I started to walk up to the second level smacked my head to the point of almost knock out. WMG was behind me and I almost take her out with me. WMG was like OMG! are you ok. I am like yeah I am fine.
We walk around lunch and of course she is mocking my klutziness.
Great!!!!
You must follow these instructions to the letter immediatly.
Your member will get bent
It already has a slight arc to the left.
Kettle: Pot.
Revek has nothing to worry about there.
Oh god, I tried not to say it...
I made it through the night without much trouble (thankfully) even at the gym I managed not drop weights on my head or foot. Woohoo!!!
So now, here is problem this morning I wake up. Head downstairs do my cardio workout out as normal. Go upstairs take shower everything is great Until...
I slipped in the bloody bathtub thankfully, my lightning fast martial arts reaction time enabled me to avoid bonking my head instead bonking my left side. The way my luck was going I probably should have just let my head bonk.
FRAK! made it work ok. interesting to note though I got in the elevator that was stuck yesterday again. I did make it up this time.
I think we should move all of these entries from this thread, and make them separate blog entries. We should have a completly new blog called:
Things that happened to Aku
We'll probably need more disk space in a month.
Most people get a card reader so they don't have to futz with such things. Cables are SO last week.
I am starting to realize something. People around here are asking 'who did I piss off' well recently I don't think I pissed off anyone. Then I thought..hmmm...could this be accumulative?
If so, I apologize to all those on HoC!
Come to think of it. How do you dispose of one of these things?
This is actually kind of funny.
Since, I saw chinup girl last night (first time since we parted ways) and of course she was bitter (because well you know it's me). Anyway, I thought I would go say hello we were civilized to each other. One of my buddies said "be glad she doesn't have a voodoo doll or something. Because she was burning a hole right through you."
Everyone was telling me I should go out and get a lottery ticket because of all the bad karma. So, I head downstairs in the same elevator that got stuck. I made all the way down to the ground floor walk towards the corner store. I open the door to the corner store and I see this attractive woman there, so excited I almost trip down the stairs. And of course she is desperately trying to keep her laughter in. This is a classic 'What not to do' when trying to meet someone.
FRAK! on the good note apparently my coffin has arrived...yay!
That they may have sent you a real body coffin?
Blackwalt should count his blessings that I am not helping him him tear up his yard.
Aku swings Betsy, Betsy flies out of his hands, goes sailing through the air, over Blackwalts house, over the tree in the front yard, and lands through the windshield of your new car.
Got stuck in the frakin elevator for 23 minutes!!!
This is awesome.