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HoC Gaming Moment of the Year. In Hitman Absolution


By Blackwalt - Posted on 06 April 2014

It was surreal and the most enjoyable gaming moment I have had for a long time

In single player just in case you were wondering why no zombies were involved.

So this months free Games with Gold game is Hitman Absolution. Since it was free I tried it out. I enjoyed the puzzle style, I enjoyed the multiple legitimate routes and I even enjoyed the story line. I did not enjoy the bug that crashed my game and erased my save game along with all my progress. Although the multiple pathways did make replaying everything a little better.

One chapter has you taking on the Saints (Killer Assassin Nuns in leather) inside and outside of a cheap Motel - The Waikiki Inn. The Saints were sent by the Agency to assassinate you. Once they RPG your motel room things get exciting. The game turns things around and tasks you with killing the Saints.

The first two sections of the chapter have you in massive gun battles with the first few Saints and their Agency goons. This eventually leads you into a cornfield where I continued with the free for all gun battle. This ended badly for me multiple times. The Agency goons would mow down the corn with assault rifles and I would die badly. This occurred multiple times until I realized it was time to switch approaches and go back to basics. I equipped my garotte and went back into the fields.

Really? Do I have to kill all of them? It seems like such a waste...Really? Do I have to kill all of them? It seems like such a waste...

This is when my own personal horror movie began. I sneaked silently through the fields coming up behind the Agency goons one at a time and garroting them to the ground. Instead of hiding the bodies like you are supposed to I left them there as warnings.

    "There's a body over here." Yes, yes there is...

I silently moved from one section of the field to another taking down one goon after another.

    "We're under attack." Yes, yes you are...

I was having such a good time I couldn't think of anything to make it better. Until I ran into a scarecrow in the middle of the field. The game asked... "would you like to wear this disguise?" Well yes, yes I would.

This is how I started my own horror movie in the middle of Hitman Absolution. A scarecrow working his way through the field, killing one gunman after another.

There's a scarecrow somewhere in this picture. Although it is not me.There's a scarecrow somewhere in this picture. Although it is not me.

Could anything make this even better? Dressed as a scarecrow taking down goons and nuns one at a time. Stealthily working my way through the cornfields leaving a trail of dead bodies to mark my path. Could anything possibly make this a better movie?

Well... do you see that building in the above picture? The goons like to hang out right outside the main door where I can garrote them and drag them into the building. Inside is a piece of farm equipment called a Ripper 3000. One of the mechanics of Hitman Absolution is hiding the corpses inside bins, cabinets, laundry baskets. Whatever is available. At this time the Ripper 3000 was available and I hit the hide key to place the corpse inside the Ripper 3000. At that point I was prompted with an "Activate Machine" message. Wait. What kind of machine is this? I backed up and took abetter look. It turns out that "Ripper 3000" is another way to say "wood chipper."

My movie just got better. Way better and way, way gorier.

    "Command, we need backup." Yes, yes you do.

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