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B O R E D


By Q-Bert - Posted on 23 August 2007

So, working today at the call center...

All calls handled...

My connection to my home machine is down because Rogers decided to be in toilet-seat mode...

Caught up on all of my mailing lists and forums...

Nothing new on Slashdot and Digg...

Can't read Fark from here ...

You guys don't post shit on this site ...

BORED

Coxxorz's picture

Sucks to be you?

Sorry, I got nothing.

Unless....

Coxxorz's picture
Thursday, August 23, 2007
(Washington Times) Dumbass Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez tries to smuggle $800,000in cash to political friends in Argentina, gets caught. Guess who he blames. Here's a hint: It rhymes with Benighted Plates (21)
Yahoo Ironic Televangelist who speaks about female empowerment beaten in parking lot by husband. Who Would Jesus Duel? (47)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these shoppers (31)
(Some Agent) Plug Improv Everywhere freaks out downtown NYC tourists with its latest MP3 experiment (48)
Rocky Mountain News Dumbass Purchasing Ecstasy ingredients on eBay using your PayPal account and email address "freebasing@hotmail.com" may make the case against you stronger (113)
CBS Sacramento Dumbass This guy picked the wrong night to take up streaking (92)
Rolling Stone Asinine And I bet you thought Bono already had an inflated sense of self worth. (with creepy pic goodness) (267)
(webbalert) Video Morgan Webb says "penetration" three times in today's WebbAlert video blog (203)
(WGAL) Scary The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture has no idea how mercury and glass shards got into a bag of chicken fingers and then into the mouths of children, but they say that's no reason to stop sales of the product (76)
Yahoo Weird United States: Call 911; wait too long for police and an ambulance. Venezuela: Call emergency; no one shows up at all. Put corpse in taxi and send it to the morgue (85)
FARK Cool Los Angeles Farkin' Pirate Party this Saturday, me mateys (79)
SLTrib Dumbass Job-site feud erupts into nail-gun shooting (73)
MSNBC Amusing Newspaper catches hell for portraying Jesus as the Marlboro man (229)
BBC Amusing Scotland lifts livestock movement ban. Scots rejoice, make immediate plans to visit their girlfriends (31)
(wsb-am) Hero Neal Boortz, Clark Howard and others are raising money again for the Aflac Cancer Center for kids (91)
LA Times Interesting Despite conventional wisdom, many bloggers do real journalism. Examples include stories such as "Scientists Determine My Cat is World's Cutest" and "Asshat Boyfriend Fails to Remember Local Woman's Birthday" (64)
Detroit News Interesting Oprah, Paris Hilton subpoenaed in Detroit record producer's lawsuit alleging racial discrimination at Canadian border crossing (78)
AP Dumbass Basic drug-dealing rule No. 1: Don't be so easy to describe that the cops will find you 10 minutes later at the corner 7-Eleven. With mugshot (100)
(Charleston Daily Mail) Dumbass We've all wanted to stab ourselves while standing in line at the airport, but most of us don't go through with it (40)
Sign On San Diego Interesting Officials spent the day yesterday trying to determine how a Chula Vista business park had treated sewage flowing from its water taps for two years (78)
Seattle Times Wheaton Wheaton to deliver keynote speech tomorrow at PAX. When was the last time a Wheaton trifecta was in play? When "Star Trek" was still good (170)
SFGate Amusing From the This-Should-End-Well Department: News channel adds on-air chat room with female anchor (70)
(The Local) Amusing Top Swedish politician accidentally comes out of the closet on Facebook. Daughter pushes him back in (38)
(Daily Herald) Interesting New law regarding police training will allow police to know how to handle a suspect who counts toothpicks really fast (51)
(KPTV) Dumbass Campers capture creepy peeper lurking about women's crapper, tie him to tree for that special picture (128)
MDN Weird Latest Japanese geek fetish? One-eyed virginal maid mummies (130)
Local6 Florida If an armed society is a polite society and everyone in Orlando is rude, what could possibly go wrong when half of Orlando is armed? (557)
NYPost Followup Like her soul, Leona Helmsley gets roasted at her funeral (57)
(Some dude, man) Spiffy Dreadlocked hippie on trial for bringing pot plant to courthouse as "evidence" (67)
SuperDeluxe Plug The penis-pump judge and speeders all have something in common (25)
(Caledonian Record.com) Dumbass Good news: Someone found your cell phone and turned it in to the police for you. Bad news: You left the pictures of your marijuana-growing operation on it (123)
Boston Globe Amusing Copyright infringement lawsuit over sanitary pads finally coming to an end after a long period (92)
(Rocky Mountain Collegian) Weird As college students begin fall semester, it's important to remember the essentials: Pencils, notebooks, calculator, mongoose (40)
(Some Guy) Florida Naked dancing man on downtown street evades police (43)
Daily Mail Amusing Two women charged with "outraging public decency" after flashing their boobies at a CCTV camera that swivelled in their direction at beach. Pics? Why, yes, there are (239)
(Some Guy) Followup Hayden Panettiere now owns countless hours of cheerleader porn courtesy of fans after quip on Letterman (131)
(TV Scoop) Interesting Director who brought you "My Penis and I" is ready to direct his next penis-related project for the BBC (30)
AFP Scary Japanese man gives the prime minister the finger. Literally (43)
(Elmira Star-Gazette) Strange Police say that they still don't know why the naked guy was climbing the cliff before he fell, but they'd like to announce that he's getting better (14)
(NY Daily News) Followup WABC welcomes back Bob Grant, fired under pressure from Al Sharpton, et al. 12 years ago for a comment made after then-Commerce Secretary Ron Brown was killed in a plane crash. In other news, Imus to return to WFAN in 2019 (63)
(Metro) Amusing Carnival parade entry features burkha-clad "Muslim Page 3 pin-ups" such as Miss Sleptwithajudgistan and Miss Hairyassisbadistan (137)
(Some gal) Spiffy ...and finally, the latest in technology for your child: The Toddler Taser (68)
EITB24 Scary Colombian reality show rewards dirtiest sex (93)
(Ft. Worth Star Telegram) Dumbass You can't just go around slapping the firm asses of 18-year-old women, even if you are a police officer performing a traffic stop (110)
(Nashville Scene) Weird Why lap dances are illegal in Nashville, but group sex is just fine (71)
Reuters Scary Georgia: "Stop sending warplanes across our border." Russia: "What warplanes?" Georgia: "Those. The ones dropping the missiles." Russia: "Grow up. You're hallucinating" (118)
(Huzzah!) Photoshop Photoshop this Grand Wizard (93)
Reuters Followup The country of Vietnam would like to say a few words about Bush comparing it to Iraq (197)
AFP Interesting A moose warmed my climate once. No really, it was standing there belching and ... (158)
(Some Cracker) Interesting White man wins $150,000 in reverse discrimination suit against black former boss who called him "stupid white boy, cracker and polack" (577)
BBSpot Wheaton Wil Wheaton indicted for running robot fighting ring (135)
(Mail Tribune) Stupid Police arrest three ninjas after months-long crime spree. Naturally, police suspect the boys were trying to be just like that icon of the ninja community, Jackie Chan (47)
Sun Sentinel Florida State reverses itself, says drivers will still be required to have auto insurance after October 1st. Or maybe not. They're not really sure. Just stay out of any wrecks for awhile to be safe (47)
The Tennessean Ironic Nashville schools may have to use snow days because of the heat (45)
UPI Ironic Britain suffering shortage of midwives because so many are knocked up and are being counted on the demand side rather than the supply side (46)
(metro.co.uk) Asinine Thinking about having a drink, citizen? You must leave the area for 48 hours, or face prosecution for thoughtcrime. Welcome to Airstrip One (143)
Daily Mail Strange Chicken owner pays £2,000 to remove his pet's leg, because you can't eat a chicken that great all at once (37)
Sky News Strange Ugly-ass two-headed cow born in California. With pic (61)
(Metro) Strange Boy charged for tossing his sausage (40)
News.com.au Interesting Not news: Man swims 18 kilometers across the Strait of Gibraltar. News: Completes swim in six hours, 20 minutes. Fark: The man has no arms (32)
(lohudmoms.com) Interesting Ten "must have" college dorm necessities (261)
Guardian.com Sad If you recently bought "salmon" from Thailand, yeah, you're dead. Hope you have Larry King reading the Bible on cassette to get you through to morning (50)
(Some Guy) Stupid Two stupid South Carolina students stupidly suspended for having stupid haircuts (123)
Toronto Star Obvious New study determined Toronto is the most boring place in Canada – and that's saying something (80)
Sign On San Diego Misc Feds to try deporting 60 gang members. They were here to bust caps in your ass that American gangsters wouldn't (52)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this covered boater (79)
Reuters Ironic Israel's only crematorium burns to the ground (82)
(KPHO-TV) Sick A 23-year-old woman is accused of trying to kill her estranged husband by stabbing him in the chest with a kitchen knife while they were having sex, officers said (99)
AJC Interesting Exposed boxer shorts and thongs may soon be illegal in Atlanta. Some are already complaining that the proposed law is racist and will promote racial profiling (194)
CNN Spiffy Happy 400th, Texas (300)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 120: Photograph boats: Barges, ocean liners, tugboats and other watercraft capable of carrying people. Difficulty: No bath or pool toys. Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (346)

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