How many HoC members does it take to make a bonfire?

I was backing away as I took this
So Q-Bert had a get-together at his place this past weekend. All sorts of people canceled on him at the last moment. I was going to as well since my in-laws showed up, but my fiancé decided to take them to the casino, so I was free to go.

I was not informed, however, that Q-Bert was going to have Revek "look after" the fire. He apparently had a bunch of fallen branches that needed disposing of, so why not make a big bonfire right next to his weeping willow. Made sense to me. Revek asked me to "help" him carry the branches over to the pit. This involved loading me up with wood and directing me to the pit as he picked up one stick and followed.

Yes, I fell for it. Shut up.

Revek, combustibles and fire ... and he survived!

So Revek lit the fire. I'll spare you the gory details but let's just say it lit in spite of his efforts. As it was blazing away, it occurred to Q-Bert that maybe he should have a hose nearby, just in case. Yes, this really did involve a trip to the neighbours after the fire was blazing.

At this point, the mosquitoes had found us. Q-Bert disappears and comes back with three citronella candles and a jug of a liquid that looks suspiciously like oil. He informs us it's citronella oil (you know, for tiki torches). He proceeds to pour it into the candles and lights them.

With predictable results.

Q-Bert's 'Improved' citronella candle

The evening degenerated from there. Just before leaving I was able to snap this gem. Now you know why zombie games remind me of Q-Bert.