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The Saints Row 2 Tornado ruined my weekend


By Blackwalt - Posted on 02 March 2009

#8 btw

Pretty much. It definitely sucked some of the fun out of Saints Row 2 for me. Not that I stopped playing or anything.

The Tornado is an attack helicopter complete with high powered Gatling gun and a laser guided missile launcher. It's the helicopter provided for the Heli-Assault activity. It's awesome and massively destructive. So, of course, I want one.

It is possible to earn the Tornado legitimately by completing the final mission of the Ultor epilogue. This is the way MoriceRecek did it. But that seems like a lot of work.

I found a method that reportedly worked most of the time. This is when things started to deteriorate.

The Tornado Attack Helicopter will sometimes spawn on the Helipad on the Police Station. This works better if you fly another helicopter to the roof and land it near the helipad (but not on as the Tornado needs somewhere to spawn). Run downstairs and outside of the station and then run back to the helipad where the tornado may have spawned.

So in a night time rainstorm I fly my other helicopter to the police station (from my furthest helipad as I didn't really think about it) and after a few attempts land successfully on the police station. Pop out of my helicopter and, lo and behold, the Tornado is sitting right there ripe for the taking. Now, here is the part the instructions left out.

INSTANT 5 STAR WANTED RATING.

Apparently the Stilwater police are attached to their helicopters and don't appreciate it when gang members fly off in them. So I fly my way erratically back to my own helipad while dodging gun fire and fricking LASER GUIDED MISSILES from other Tornados. Multiple other Tornados. But I made it. Yes I did. Parked it in my garage and then borrowed an FBI SUV to drive through the nearest Forgive and Forget. Not easy but I did it. Time to reward myself with a mission.

BTW, did I mention that Saints Row 2 locks up occasionally? This is why I save a lot. Usually... You know what's coming now don't you? That's called foreshadowing.

So mid mission my Xbox 360 locks up. Totally. Reboot required. Wait... did I save? Do I still have my Tornado?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well no. I didn't. Of course not. That would be too easy.

So this was Friday night and after my reboot I was getting all sorts of invites to play multiplayer. So I gave up on my Tornado acquisition plans and went online with Stormblade, Moricerevek and JeSsE101 19. During our gaming our conversation turned to my attempt to get a Tornado early. After Moricerevek told me he had earned his the conversation went on (for a while) about there being an alternative method of acquirement. With no details as I wasn't sharing until I knew it worked. So after ten minutes or so of conversation Moricerevek drops the line "oh you mean the roof method." Well asshole! If you knew about it why the third degree for ten minutes? Did this serve some kind of purpose for you? Again in case you missed it. Asshole.

So my Tornado wasn't happening and my playing wasn't any more fun. Landed on the roof again that night. No Tornado.

Booted up Saturday during Rolly's nap.

  • Landed on the roof again. No Tornado.
  • Landed on the roof again. No Tornado.
  • Landed on the roof again. No Tornado.
  • Landed on the roof again. No Tornado.
  • dammit!!!

  • Landed on the roof again. No Tornado.
  • Landed on the roof again. No Tornado.
  • Landed on the roof again. No Tornado.
  • NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    So... Fun.

    That night I entered Stilwater again. Nothing after several tries. Coxxorz joined in and I told him about my Tornado issues and we tried it a few times in coop. Nothing. Nada. Zero.

    Not that I was getting pissed or anything. Or anything.

    So that was it for the night, did a couple of missions with Coxxorz and then quit out.

    Sunday morning an email from Coxxorz awaited me. "Got the Tornado last night after you left. And the police boat."

    ...

    If it wasn't for the padded walls in my room something would have been broken. Spent 20 minutes trying to kill Coxxorz with my mind. Hope it worked. Coxxorz now added to my list. Position ten buddy. Ten!!! Asshole!

    And only because Moricerevek took #9 on Friday! (and for those of you in the audience who are a little slow) Position 1 through 8 all belong to Stormblade. Permanently. #9 and #10 swap around a lot.

    Synopsis of Blackwalt's list (for clarity):

    1. Stormblade
    2. Stormblade
    3. Stormblade
    4. Stormblade
    5. Stormblade
    6. Stormblade
    7. Stormblade
    8. Stormblade
    9. Moricerevek New entry!
    10. Coxxorz Newer entry!

    So Sunday night I decided that there was no Saints Row 2 tonight. Instead Guba and I watched The Dark Knight which was pretty good. It finished at 10:45.

    For those of you still reading and paying attention I still haven't hit rock bottom yet. I know. Its called foreshadowing.

    Hey, I could probably squeeze in another attempt for the Tornado before 11 and still get to bed at a decent time!

    Entered Stilwater, landed on the roof again. No Tornado. Ran downstairs and outside. Ran back inside and up to roof.

    There was a loud "hosanna" heard across the world. I had seen paradise and it was a Tornado Attack Chopper. Got in and took off.

    Flew through a hail of bullets and missiles to my nearest helipad. Coming in fast for an emergency landing I was interrupted by a message on the screen "Coxxorz would like to join your game." Dammit!! He's on my list!

    But then... I still play with Stormblade so... fine. I wasn't planning on playing for long but fine. Press A. "Coxxorz is joining your game..."

    Okay, so he joins. "Coxxorz you have one job and that's to remind me to save in about 3 seconds" and I come screaming into the helipad at full speed. This isn't the recommended way to land a helicopter btw as I soon discovered as I bounced off the helipad and into the sky. No problem. Spin around slow down and land. Again too fast. Press Y to put helicopter in the garage.

    TOO LATE DAMMIT.

    I press Y, my character exits the helicopter and instead of watching my new helicopter enter my garage I get to watch it slide over the edge and crash to the ground in flames and then explode. I missed Coxxorz by that much which might have cheered me up if I wasn't still crying over the loss of my latest Tornado. This. This is rock bottom.

    Hey Coxxorz still isn't talking? Is his mic broken or mine? Stupid Xbox 360.

    So with Coxxorz still mute and both of us with a 5 star wanted rating I grab another civilian helicopter and head back to the police station roof. Dodging missiles and bullets.

    But I land and, lo and behold, another Tornado is waiting for me. A bright yellow one this time. Coxxorz favourite vehicle colour. He'll be jealous. Mute but jealous.

    This time I fly slow and careful. Slow and careful around flying bullets and missiles. Coming into the helipad... easy... easy... let's back up and trying again. Stupid bullets! Enough already! And what's with Coxxorz? Speak up already.

    Got it. Landed and in the garage.

    YES! YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!!

    Finally!!!!!! Took long enough. Now save and I can quit out. Wait Coxxorz still isn't talking. Have to tell him I'm done and quitting out. New batteries in headset. New controller. Use keyboard adapter to send long message. Hear crackling and Coxxorz occasionally talking. Try new headset. Coxxorz coming through speakers. DAMMIT.

    After 20 minutes of screwing around with headsets, batteries and microphones I finally got to hear the not so sultry voice of Coxxorz. Yea! "Now I can tell you that I got my Tornado and now I am quitting out."

    "YOU TOOK TWENTY MINUTES TO TELL ME YOU'RE QUITTING OUT! And you're not playing at all!"

    "Watch it buddy! You're looking good for position #9!"

  • Stormblade's picture

    I flew over the the police station, walked in, walked out, got into the Tornado, flew it to my pad, got out and saved.

    3 minutes.

    Just saying.

    Coxxorz's picture

    Walking over to Blackwalt's office to mock him right now...

    MauriceRevek's picture

    Stormblade will occupy the top 9 spots now.

    A Troll's picture

    but I got a great laugh from your article.

    Akuf's picture


    Synopsis of Blackwalt's list (for clarity):

    1. Stormblade
    2. Stormblade
    3. Stormblade
    4. Stormblade
    5. Stormblade
    6. Stormblade
    7. Stormblade
    8. Stormblade
    9. Moricerevek New entry!
    10. Coxxorz Newer entry!

    I should be #1

    Stormblade's picture

    earning those top eight spots. I will not give them up lightly.

    Akuf's picture

    I will let you use both hands

    Akuf's picture

    You want the most verbose award again next year...

    MauriceRevek's picture

    Well, if you must know, I did not know about it until you said you got it without completing the final mission. It was only by using my superior powers of deductive reasoning that I was able to determine that you got it by going to the police station roof. Allow me to demonstrate:

    There is one sure way to get the tornado to appear, and that is to get 5 star wanted rating. But the problem with that is the chopper will be in the air, and will be shooting at you, therefore, unless you have developped the ability to fly, that is not an option.

    The only other option is that the helicopter would spawn in a landed state somewhere in the world. Since you had demonstrated that you got yours by taking a landed helicopter, then it seems that it is a spawnable vehicle.

    Now where would a vehicle such as this spawn:

    Water: Nope, not a floating vehicle, it would just sink.

    Airport: Possible, I did find 2 helicopters there, as well as 4 different planes (WWI triplane, WWII mustang or similar type, Cesna and Lear). One of the chopers is the same model as the air ambulance that you unlock, and the other is the same type as used in the MASH TV series to evacuate wounded soldiers.

    Grassy knole: Or some other park type location. Possible, but the probability would be very low.

    Street Corner: Again, possible, but very low.

    Roof Top: Ah, that is quite possible, after all, there are at least 4 cribs with helipads, and a number of other buildings (i.e. hospitals) that have them.

    Police Station: Of course, the attack POLICE choper has to spawn on the rooftop of the police station.

    At this point, I had established that there was a 99.9% probability that this is the location where the afformention Tornado was obtained.

    Now all I had to do was get confirmation.

    This is the point where I used a method of extracting information that is called: The Bluff.

    I stated my belief in an offhanded manner as if it were fact, which got you, the unsuspecting fool, to confirm my suspicion.

    And for my next trick, I will teach you how to complete car-jackings for the chop-shop activities in the most amusing manner:

    Base-Jumping from a helicopter.

    Blackwalt's picture

    "oh you mean the roof method" - specific, one type/instance.

    "On a roof" - general, on any roof.

    You did not use the general, helicopter on a roof reference, you used a specific reference to "the roof method."

    And as for being an asshole. That's more of a general reference, not specific to one instance.

    For Coxxorz it was specific to the one instance.

    Coxxorz's picture

    Did I mention I got the ability to sprint twice as long yesterday?

    And tonight I unlocked the ability to sprint forever?

    Coxxorz's picture

    It's not BASE jumping if it's from an aircraft.

    And rumour has it that it's possible to jump from one chopper and land in/on another one in midair to take it over. I have been hilariously unsuccessful at this method.

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