You are hereDamn you Master Chief: I want my arm (and head) back!

Damn you Master Chief: I want my arm (and head) back!


By OneArmedHeadles... - Posted on 05 December 2008

I thought I was tough until I ran into Master Chief

Seriously, I am the pinnacle of Terran military might and I thought I was tough. I thought my armour was the best. And then I ran into the Master Chief. In fact I was beaten soundly with Master Chief being used as a club. My arm shattered, my arm detached, my head – well I don't want to talk about my head. I miss it.

Just how tough is Master Chief...

  • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Master Chief pajamas
  • Master Chief does not sleep. He waits.
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Master Chief was cold, so he turned the sun up.
  • Master Chief once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  • The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Master Chief played in second grade.
  • Master Chief can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  • Master Chief does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
    My arm! My head!: Master Chief wins!My arm! My head!: Master Chief wins!
  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Master Chief.
  • Master Chief once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  • Master Chief always knows the exact location of Carmen SanDiego.
  • Master Chief can divide by zero.
  • Master Chief can slam a revolving door.
  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Master Chief out. It failed miserably.
  • Master Chief can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  • When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Master Chief halloween costume he was wearing.
  • Master Chief can touch MC Hammer.

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